This week I'm going to get into self esteem and confidence or “inner game,” to use a sports analogy. Confidence is different from self esteem in that the former is knowing your own abilities while the latter is how you view yourself. You need both to become attractive to women.

How well do you take care of yourself? Do you go the extra mile to be sure your clothes fit properly? Do you brush your teeth and groom yourself daily? When you have your hair cut do you get the cheapest haircut you can find or do you make an effort to find a good stylist that understands what haircut will work with the shape of your head and texture of your hair?

I'm not saying you have to spend $200.00 on a haircut and have all your clothes tailer made, unless that's what you want to do. However, going to a little higher priced stylist and having your shirts altered to fit better doesn't cost much and it will make a difference in how you look to others, as well as to yourself. When you can get shower, shave, get dressed, comb your hair, look in the mirror and say “Wow! I look damn good!” You will project a better vibe to the world. So, take good care of yourself because you deserve it.

Confidence comes from competence. You become competent through practice. You have to go out and talk to lots of women to become confident in your ability to interact, socialize and attract them. You will make mistakes. You will be rejected. You will be embarrassed and humiliated. These are all things you must work your way through to get to where you want to be.

If you decided you wanted to learn to play guitar you wouldn't expect to just pick one up and play like a rock star. You have to put in the time and practice to become good and developing your social skills is no different. You have to learn where the lines are and the only way to learn that is by crossing them many, many times.

You have to push beyond what you think is socially acceptable behavior. You may have to do things that your friends will put you down for doing. They will probably try to stop you from improving yourself. They like you being your old self. You have to ignore them and push ahead on your own.

Maybe you think you need something else to become attractive. This simply isn't true. You already have everything you need. In fact, many of the things you may think you need are really a disadvantage when it comes to meeting the kind of woman you really want to spend time with. Let's go over a few.

Money:

Many men think women want a man that can provide for her needs. Buy her a car, a house, nice clothes etc. Let me give you a news flash. YOU CANNOT BUY WOMEN. You may be able to rent them for a few hours. But, is that the type of woman you really want in your life? Moreover, displaying your wealth can communicate low self worth. It comes off as bragging more often than not. This is the 21st century. Women can make their own money. They don't need you for that.

Good Looks:

Good looks are nice to have. Like money, looks can open many doors. But, if you're a boring person, good looks won't help you attract women once you start talking to them. There are some women who are attracted to certain looks. Some girls like athletic guys while others like nerdy guys. This is the same as some men preferring blonds. If a woman had everything else you found attractive, would you kick her out of bed simply because she not a blond? I wouldn't!

Men Want Sex More Than Women.

This one is total bullshit. When a woman finds a man attractive she wants as much sex as he can handle! Women are simply more selective about who they want to sleep with. Also, most women won't admit to enjoying sex for fear of being labeled a slut. Having that tag carries social repercussions that can make life more difficult for her. Her reputation is important. But, she enjoys sex every bit as much as any man does. In fact, women very probably enjoy it more! Their orgasms are last longer and are deeper and wider than ours are. One might even say women's orgasms are more profound. Women LOVE their orgasms.

Attraction is an emotion. It can't be flipped on and off at will. A woman may meet a man that has everything she THINKS she wants. He has a good job, he comes from a good family, he lives in a good neighborhood. On “paper” he's very attractive. But, he just doesn't move her emotionally. So, she jumps on the back of a motorcycle with a guy in a leather jacket and no bank account. Why? Because he moved her emotionally.

To develop confidence you'll have to make mistakes. You'll have to risk looking foolish. There will be times when you feel like the kid in school that tripped in the lunchroom and spilled his tray of food all over the floor. You'll have to learn to laugh at yourself. The first 1000 women you talk to won't even count. But, it helps to understand female psychology. When you understand what moves her emotionally, she'll be begging to suck your cock. You can fuck her her up the ass, cum on her face and she'll even bring her girlfriends over to help her satisfy you!

So, what does move women emotionally? What do women value in a man? How can you get her interested in you? It is my opinion that above all else women value strength in a man. But, that doesn't mean physical strength. It means strength of character. It means he stands by his word and won't be easily swayed from his path. That is what women mean when they say they want a “real man.” Women want a man they can respect. A man to sit at the head of the table. A man that will lead, but is open to her thoughts and ideas. A man who is cool headed and calm under most any circumstances. A rock she can cling to when she is feeling uncertain. And she will test you, constantly, to be sure you have this quality. And the moment she discovers you slipping she will begin to lose her attraction for you. So, you must be congruent with who you clam to be at all times. In other words, never lie to her about anything.

She will test you by sort of poking at your armor. She'll throw little digs at you to see how you'll react. The way to pass her tests is to remain un-reactive. Don't let her push you off where you stand. Don't back peddle. But, don't argue with her either. This will display tolerance to social pressure. You don't care if she agrees with you or not.

Don't invest too much in the interaction. Don't offer to buy her a drink until after the two of you have starting to hit it off. Talk and vibe with her for 20 or 30 minutes before you offer to buy her a drink. You are waiting for her to earn the drink by connecting with you.

Be willing to walk away if she isn't into you. Don't chase her. Maybe this will come as a shock, but NOT EVERYONE IS GOING TO LIKE YOU. So what if one chick blows you off? There's another one just over there, maybe she'll be into you. Go and find out.