The following “openers” are mine. I came up with them and have used them all in the field to successfully open groups of women. I have shared them with only a few friends, so women will not have heard any if them before. Try them out and see how they work for you. Remember to keep it light and fun.
I also want to say that I am not a big fan of routines. Although there are advantages to them I feel they slow down your progress in becoming more social and limit what you can talk about. However, I do think it's a good idea to have a few things tucked away to bring out if the conversation starts to lag. If the women get bored, they will think it's your fault. so keep things lively.
Before we get into the openers I want to point out a couple of things that you should do in every set. One, you should use a false time constraint. When you first open a group of strangers the first thought in their minds will be “how long are we going to have to put up with they weirdo?” By saying “I can't stay long because I need to get back to my friend” or “I only have a second. I'm meeting some at X.” You let them know right away that you won't be taking up too much of their time. They will relax and be more willing to chat with you a little.
The Brad & Angie Opener
You: Hey you guys, I was reading something on the web the other day and I want to hear what you guys think. Some science guys did a survey of collage aged women asking them if, given the chance, you would cheat on your boyfriend with Brad Pitt?
Girls: Yes, No, Maybe, I don't think he's that hot, etc.
At this point you should be able to join their group by taking a chair or pulling one over from another table. Use a false time constraint.
You: Well, about 40% said they would cheat with Brad. But, that's not all. They also asked if you'd cheat on your boyfriend with Angelina Jolie? And something like 70% said they would. So that means at least one of you would too! so, which one is it? You? no. You? maybe. You? Oh, you for sure.
Now, transition by asking “so, how do you guys know each other?” This is an important question and you will learn a lot of information by asking it. Are they room mates? Is one girl the sister of your target's boyfriend? Etc. Much can be learned with this simple question.
The Hairy Armpits Opener
This next opener is for groups of men and women that are seated together. Start off by addressing the men.
You: Hey guys I need some help here. My friend and I are having a disagreement and maybe you guys can help us settle it. Would any of you guys date a woman that didn't shave under her arms?
Allow the men to answer. Usually the women will chime in as well. Pull up a chair, join the group adding a false time constraint.
You: the reason I'm asking is because the other night we were out and I was talking to this girl and we seemed to be hitting it off. Then she took off her jacket and I saw she has hair under her arms. Now I'm not talking about just a little stubble here. I'm talking fur! My friend thinks I'm nuts because she was really attractive looking. But, I just couldn't roll with it. I mean it sort of grossed me out. So, what if the girl was like smoking hot would you still fell the same way?
Again let them answer.
You: Hey guys, thanks a lot guys it's been real helpful. So, how do all of you know each other?
If you do a google search I'm sure you can find thousands of openers and conversation starters. But, it's really best to ask about things you're truly curious about. Women like talking about animals, relationships and celebrity gossip. So, keep your ears open for good questions to start conversations with.
